2nd Draft Feedback

Feedback - 2nd Draft Ancillary Tasks from leannefaye78

Magazine Cover 2nd Draft

This is an image of our second draft for the magazine cover. The changes have been made and we actually feel like it looks a lot better now. The only thing we may change again is the yellow block behind the strap-line at the top of the page. However, like the poster, we believe the changes we made have been beneficial as it now looks better and  more presentable.

Poster 2nd Draft

Here is an image of the second draft of our poster. This is after the changes from the feedback have been made. Overall, we believed we have benefited majorly from the changes we were instructed to make. From the first draft feedback, you will see that we originally chose the black and white version of this image. However, we decided to change the variation to the coloured image to make it aesthetically pleasing and better for the audience to look at.

Poster 1st Draft Feedback

Here is some feedback we have received from out poster first draft. 

Magazine Cover Feedback

Here is some of the feedback we received from the first draft of our Magazine Cover. 

Shot List

Updated Script

EXT. Bus Stop

Faye is waiting at the bus stop, a bus pulls up and she gets on.

FAYE(voice over)

This is me, probably the last time anybody ever saw me

INT.  Police Hallway Day

Suspects are sitting waiting to be interviewed

INT.  Police Interview Room / Day

Miss Rais is talking to the police

MISS RAIS

Who would do this to a girl like her?

INT. Councillor’s Office/Day

Faye is having her regular counselling session with Mrs Palmer, based around the other suspects.

MISS RAIS

So Faye, how are your issues?

FAYE

Fine.

MISS RAIS

Are you sure everything is fine?

INT.  Police Interview Room / Day

Finley is talking to the police

FINLEY

I wouldn’t let it go this far

INT.  Finley’s Car/Evening

Faye and Finley are sitting in Finley’s car and they are having a conversation which quickly progresses into a disagreement.

FAYE

So, what we getting for dinner then?

FINLEY

Get whatever you want

FAYE

Well what you having?

FINLEY

Dunno yet…

FAYE

Can you decide please

FINLEY

You decide!! Mum and Dad always put you first anyway…

FAYE

Do you know what……….

Faye gets out of the car and storms off as Finley drives away.

INT.  Police Interview Room / Day

Maddie is talking to the police

MADDIE

Weren’t me

EXT. Side Road/Day

Faye is walking down a side road.

Maddie approached Faye and barges her, pushing her up against a fence

MADDIE

Get out my way!

(Maddie pushes Faye up against a fence)

FAYE

I haven’t done anything

MADDIE

You’re here aren’t you?   MOVE!!

INT.  Police Interview Room / Day

ADAM

I couldn’t do this to her

INT. Faye’s Bedroom/Day

Faye and Adam are having a deep conversation in Faye’s bedroom

FAYE

You’ll always be my best friend

ADAM

What if I want more

FAYE

What if I don’t….

Adam gets up and leaves

INT. Mr and Mrs Browns House / Day

Mr and Mrs Brown are distraught that their daughter has gone missing and are currently speaking with two police officers who have been allocated to the case. 

MRS BROWN

So what are you going to do about this?  What is going to happen?

POLICE 1

We are doing all that we can

MR BROWN

Well it doesn't look like it!

POLICE 2

You've got to let us know if you hear anything

Blanka/Text-on-Screen

Police Officer is interviewing one of the suspects, as they believe that they are guilty.

POLICE OFFICER (Voice over)

Just admit to it.  We have all the evidence that we need to prove it was you….